Thursday, August 24, 2017

The Sneakiest Thing Killing Relationships And How To Avoid It

Ask your friends who are in long-term relationships how they feel about them, and what their biggest problem is with regards to their partner. Surely, the most obvious things killing relationships are cheating, constant bickering, and deception. However, there is one thing killing relationships that’s much more common and perhaps even more dangerous because it is so sneaky: boredom. And it’s the one thing your friends are going to say they feel is the problem with their long-term relationships.

How Is Boredom Killing Relationships?

Have you noticed how much you enjoy your first meal in a new restaurant but feel a little let down when you visit it again? Does it feel like things, such as a ride in an amusement park, seem far more fun and exciting the first time you do them? That’s because your brain naturally releases feel-good chemicals when it’s excited by a new, stimulating experience (that dish, or that ride). When the experience is repeated, it does not function in the same way, though.

Signs Your Relationship Is Affected

If you fear that your relationship is in danger, look out for these signs:

  1. Finding excuses not to spend time with your partner.
  2. Not feeling interested in what your partner has to say.
  3. Feeling envious of the life of other couples.
  4. Looking forward to spending time alone.
  5. Not enjoying doing the things you used to love doing together.
  6. Not being able to remember the last time you genuinely have fun with your partner.

How To Stop Boredom From Killing Relationships (Or At Least Yours)

According to a 2009 study carried out by the University of Michigan, couples who expressed feelings of boredom after 7 years were more likely to be unhappy down the line, after 16 years in their relationship. What this means is that you need to take action immediately if you don’t want to end up miserable.

The first thing is to find a hobby you both enjoy and indulge in it together.  Having fun in the presence of your partner will create positive associations in your brain, and the process of practicing it together will help you strengthen your bond.

Second, you should not neglect to be intimate with each other. Lack of intimacy causes the gradual erosion of a relationship, so don’t let that chance to kiss your partner go to waste. Show her you like being around her and tease her from time to time, reminding her that you are still very much excited by her presence.

The third thing you need to do is to be adventurousDare new things together, go on trips to places you’ve never seen, try out new cuisines, learn new things constantly – and keep those happy chemicals flowing.

Last, and most importantly, find a partner who stimulates you not just physically, but also mentally. Make sure you have common interests and desires and give her the chance to show you her world and to charm and excite you with her personality.

Don’t take your love or that of your partner for granted. There are so many things killing relationships today, don’t let boredom sneak into your relationship and steal your happiness.

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Monday, August 21, 2017

Why Keeping Certain Secrets From Your Partner Makes Perfect Sense

Even though we learn from a very early age that lying is bad and, as we grow older, sometimes discover the hard way that it can get us into serious trouble, sometimes keeping secrets from your partner may be your best bet.

Keep These Secrets From Your Partner For A Happier Relationship

Yes, lying is wrong. But keeping some things to ourselves is often the wisest thing we can do both for ourselves and our relationships. These are the cases when you should keep your thoughts to yourself.

#1. You’ve had great sex with other women before her

A person’s sexual history is a very personal matter, as we’ve said before. It’s not something to talk about at length, neither to boast about it nor to lament. What’s worse, when it comes to our S.O there is absolutely no reason to compare her to our exes. Even if we do so in our heads (who doesn’t?), there is absolutely no reason to talk about it with her. Doing so will only make her less confident and it will bring uncertainty and possibly even arguments to your relationship. As far as your girlfriend goes, the famous Barry White song says it all: “You’re the First, the Last, My Everything”.

#2. Someone from your circle dislikes her

Whether there’s a person from your family who doesn’t like your girlfriend or a friend who much preferred your ex, this is one of the most serious secrets you have to keep from your partner. Telling her she’s disliked by someone from your circle will make her worry about it and not be herself around them. Moreover, it’s better to let things flow naturally, and maybe this person’s mind will change in time, as he/she gets to know your girl better.

#3. You dislike someone from her circle

In much the same way as before, there is simply no reason to tell her that you think her brother is a stupid brat or her best friend is annoying; even if she keeps complaining about them. What will happen once you tell her your opinion of them is that she will soon forgive them and forget about their mistakes, but guess what she won’t forget: your slagging them off.

#4. You think her friends are hot

Or even one of her friends. Even if she asks you in a very non-aggressive and casual way, there is not enough stress we can put on the word NO. Never ever tell her that you see her friends as attractive women. Reassure her you only have eyes for her and that you can’t possibly see her friends as more than sisters/friends.

To sum up, even though two of the most important pillars of a relationship are honesty and good communication, in the above-mentioned instances you are excused for keeping these secrets from your partner so as to avoid unnecessary conflict and hurt.

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